Archive for November, 2008

W. review

Posted in Films, Review with tags , , , on 29 November, 2008 by J-Man

Verdict: Meh.

Josh Brolin; not as cool as Javier Bardem.

I assumed this film would be a funny-but-accurate film about Bush’s evil reign over America, but it turned out to be a vaguely-unfunny-and-inaccurate film about Bush’s evil reign over America.

The thing about political films is that they must be balanced to be accurate, and the fact that this is a film purely for lefties like me means it loses its edge.

In case you’re wondering, yes I’m a dirty liberal, but I’m suspending those views for the purpose of this review.

Frankly, I hate Bush. However, he was elected once (the second time, by the way) by the people of America so surely there’s at least something good about him. In W., the entire film is just caricaturing republicans and politicians, throwing some lame jokes that didn’t get much more than a chuckle from me.

Oh yeah, and the actress who played Condolezza Rice is annoying as hell. Only see this film if you have an intimate knowledge of American politics, or want to see a vaguely-unfunny-and-inaccurate film about Bush.


Vague update

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on 29 November, 2008 by J-Man

Hey, I haven’t posted recently as I’ve been a bit busy (playing COD), but I thought I might do a little update. I’m not doing much currently, I’ve pitched an article to The Escapist, and been enjoying their forums a lot, as l337 speek is banned, and most people are polite and helpful. I also thought I might boast about how good I am at COD by posting a screenie with me at the top of leader boards with 92 kills, but the file type of the screenshot means I can’t post it on wordpress. Sadface.

Anyway, my lack of stuff to do means you’ll be treated to a few more posts soon, and I’ve been frequenting the cinema recently, so expect some movie reviews as well.

Call of Duty review

Posted in Gaming, Review with tags , , , on 23 November, 2008 by J-Man

Ok, time I got round to reviewing this. I’m at level 30 on the competitive multiplayer, and I’ve finished the single-player campaign on Hardened. Which is actually quite a feat. The COD series have been known to be punishing, but this latest incarnation of glorious WWII is ludicrously hard in parts.

The reason?

Grenades. Although you can throw them back, they’re ridiculously overpowered and even more deadly in multiplayer, where your oponents will “cook” the grenades. That is, to hold onto the grenade for few seconds, so it’ll go off the moment it lands.

Not only that, Treyarch have insisted on using the “waves of respawning enemies” mechanic that made the earlier CODs annoying. They’ve also used the “regenerating health” mechanic, which seems completely obsolete compared to Far Cry 2’s field surgery.

I completely preferred the Russian side of the single player campaign to the American side. What Treyarch have managed to do is sum up that artifical patriotism for Mother Russia that Activision did so well in the first two CODs, and when you stagger forward on top of the Reichstag, wounded and bleary-eyed, and plant the blood-red flag for the Motherland while your Sergeant pats you on the back is incredible….

…Maybe I should have put a warning of spoilers in that paragraph. Ah well.

The American side of the campaign, on the other hand, is like COD forgot all that made it so great and just copied off Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault. The story line if rubbish, the enemies seem cliched, and the level design annoying.

The weapons are much chunkier and budda-budda-budda-ier than COD4’s sleek weapons, but personally that suits my taste. It’s far more manly to kill a nazi up close with a thompson, than kill a genero-terrorist from long range with an M16.

Annoyingly, Treyach have copied the multiplayer aspect of COD4 where everyone picks from the same pool of weapons, so nazis run around with japanese rifles, and russians hold american shotguns. 

They also included perks, and I’m sad to say that Martyrdom makes an unwelcome return. Even worse, the grenade doesn’t make a noise when they drop it. However, there is a new perk which counters Martyrdom and grenade cookers by resetting the fuse of thrown grenades, and people in last stand second chance can now be revived.

PC players also now get prestige mode, where you reset your level and unlocks in return for a new custom class slot and bragging rights. I look forward to getting to the tenth. Anyway, this means COD now has a much longer playing value, and it’s very addictive.

You may have noticed I haven’t talked about co-op, because it doesn’t work. At all. Hopefully a patch will be released, but currently I would warn you against buying it if you have visions of glorious co-op. I’ll update this post if the situation changes.

So, in conclusion, it’s a successful transition from modern to WWII, but with a few hiccups in singleplayer and co-op. Still, it’s the only game about which I can say I’ll join any server, come top of the scoreboard and have an incredibly fun time. Seriously, that’s what years of playing COD 2 on a single server against the best of the best gets you. Anyway, I strongly recommend you buy this if you’re an FPS player, or someone who wants to play one game for a long time.

I’ll be posting screenshots soon.

Big News!

Posted in Gaming with tags , , on 20 November, 2008 by J-Man

Today 2 marvellous things happened;

1st of all, I did some GCSE science modules which went very well, and there was a misprint of the hardest paper so we all got 20 extra minutes.

2nd of all, and far more important than my future, CALL OF DUTY ARRIVED! Actually it arrived yesterday, but I may as well mention it here. It seems like a welcome return to WWII but still can’t compare to the first (3) games. By the way, when I say the 3, I don’t mean COD 1, 2 and 3, I mean COD 1, united offensive, and 2.

Just to clear that up…. I’ll post more thoughts once I dive into multiplayer.


Ok, ok, I’ll review it soon.

A short post

Posted in Gaming, rant with tags , , , on 18 November, 2008 by J-Man

A short post I wrote for Viewx:

So, to start off my career as a contributor to ViewX, let me do a short review of Rage Against the Machine, and one of it’s typical songs.

Beginning: QUITITNOW!!!

Midddle: bow-chick-a-wow-wow


Moving swiftly on from that tangent (I’m a master of those)….


Seriously, it tries to be novel and replace button-mashing with stick waggling, making everyone look like Boris Johnson flailing his arms around like a wacky-wavy-inflatable-arm-flailing-tube-man. It has awful, awful, awful graphics, and even worse games. Seriously, have you people ever played Red Steel? And have the devs ever heard of aiming?

Let’s face it, wii sucks.

End of. Watch this video if you don’t believe me, and bask in Yahtzee’s hate of consoles.

An utterly brillitant webcomic

Posted in Literature, Philosophy, Uncategorized with tags , , on 17 November, 2008 by J-Man

No, not Cyanide and Happiness.

It’s xkcd.

The utter beauty that these stickmen drawings can create, the hilarity, and the thought provoking philosophy is fantastic. Amusingly, my level of art is the same as the author’s.

Clicking the comic below will take you to the site.

Bunch of rocks

Madagascar 2

Posted in Films, Review with tags , , on 16 November, 2008 by J-Man

Just went to a “Multimedia FDA screening” of Madagascar 2. It’s pretty good.

It doesn’t build upon or advance the story dramataically, but nevertheless, I was immersed, and the penguins are much better than in the original. The animation remains at the same level, but there are some pretty shots of a CGI Africa.


As cute as ever.

As cute as ever.

The funniest moment involved one of these gerbil creatures, doing a 2-way conversation with himself. I was less keen on the edge-of-racism moments where the zebra (voiced by Chris Rock), can’t be distinguished from the other zebras. Like saying all the black people are the same, basically.

David Schwimmer does his regular nervous-and-anxious schtick, and Alec Baldwin, playing the easily-defeated villain is as good as ever.

In lieu of fighting, there is dancing, although there is a scene where a lion and an old lady are beaten brutally by each other, and there’s some of those pretentious, fake “c’mon guys, we can do it!” scenes, which I loathe and detest in such a manner that if one walked into the room, I’d have a flamethrower out quicker than you can say burn, baby burn.

Altogether, a decent sequel, not a complete milking of the franchise cow *coughgeorgelucascough* but not incredible either. Something to take a younger relative to, basically.