Archive for the rant Category

Jade Goody should get off my TV screen

Posted in rant with tags on 7 March, 2009 by J-Man

Awakening surprisingly early this morning, I wandered into my living room and flicked on the TV. It was on Sky News, and I settled down to watch it for a little. Another story on the economy and then it came to Jade Goody. She’s being christened with her children today. So what?

Why should I care about her or her children? I think it’s tragic she has cancer, but what’s with the media craze? She is one person, and there are literally millions of other cancer-sufferers out there dying of exactly the same illness. So why is there a media craze on just one person?

And not even for the right reasons, either. Scoffing at the story, I remembered a conversation with my mother a while back. She said Jade needs the money from the publicity for her children. I said they still have a father, and she pointed out he’s in jail.

Rightly so. He attacked someone 2 years younger than him with a golf club, backed up by a friend. So the Goody family has no money, and Jade is making money for them. But even a small amount, less than a million, would be able to afford them a standard of living comparable to the majority of the English population for several years.

So she’s married to a violent fool, has publicity for no reason, and is now earning money for no reason. She hasn’t donated anything to cancer research, hasn’t asked her fans to do that either. She’s selfish, and has sympathy because she’s dying.

But this highlights the messed up media we have in Britain. Its sensationalist crap. Every day there’s a story like this on the news, every day time is wasted on news channels which could be used for real news, important issues.



People who ruin games

Posted in Gaming, rant with tags , , on 7 January, 2009 by J-Man

I know there are waaayy too many of these posts on the ‘net right now, but I really wanted to vent. Sorry.

Case 1: Being called a “nub”

 I was re-reading an issue of PC Gamer a while back, and noticed in the mod section something called “hide and seek.” Half the players act like random physics-enabled objects, while the other team hunt them down. I randomly clicked on a server in Counter Strike, only to discover the server was running this very mod. I had fantastic fun for the first 5 rounds, running about with an AWP, gunning down fleeing telephones.

Then the map switched to de_dust.

I was placed on the object team, as by this time the game had winded down, leaving only me and 3 other guys. American guys. Obnoxious American guys. Now just put a “fucking” in front of that statement, and replace “guys” with assholes. Mmmkay?

Despite the fact that the mod doesn’t really work when the majority of players are on the hunter team, I valiantly joined the object team, and became a barrel. I slipped in with a few of my circular pals and waited. When an object the game lets you go third person, so I watched hunters randomly shoot a bunch of crates before one of them came over and investigated me. He pulled out his shotgun, and fired a couple of rounds, killing me.

I can live with defeat. It happens a lot in games, none more than Counter Strike. I can always win a fair match or knife fight, but frequently campers ruin the game. But whatever. I tried again, this time as a wooden-vase thingy and went on the patio right above where the hunters spawn. Despite being among my own gloriously circular kind, a hunter with an UMP fires potshots and luckily gets me.

I play a few more rounds, but then after my 5th death, the voice comms open up.

“Haha, nub.”

“You really don’t know how to play.”

I play a few more games, but am repeatedly killed, each time with this mocking. After my 8th death, I get tired and switch to the Hunter team.

“What the fuck nub, now there’s no-one on the other team!”
“How the fuck are we meant to play now?”

I spawn, auto-shotty in hand, and kill both of them. Headshots.


You see, dear readers, there’s only so much abuse I can take. Now while I can accept mocking after a funny or embarassing death, the shit these two morons were spewing sickened me. And the fact they said it in their generic American accents, and actually said the word “nub” in real speech made me want to vomit. My disconnect could be perceived as a rage-quit, but I’m pretty sure I got my point across in the end.

There will most likely be more case studies like this, as long as assholes remain on the face of the earth. And I will do my best to present them.

It’s that time of year…

Posted in rant, Uncategorized with tags , , , on 19 December, 2008 by J-Man

It’s that time of year again, the winter holidays. For most people it’ll mean a religuous festival, presents, and fun. My family will be celebrating it with our neighbours, and while I intend to enjoy it as much as possible on the day (and I probably will), I thought I might hammer out my thoughts on the whole season before it’s too late, and I have to start on why Spring sucks. And on a side note, I’ll refer to the winter holidays as christmas, just to simplify things, but know I’m talking about chanukkah, kwanzaa etc.

Sadly Christmas has become way too commercialized. I love the idea of giving presents to friends and such, and the whole idea of doing good, but yet again capitalist industries have corrupted and perverted what should be a wholesome, authentic time of year. An example would be Christmas movies; studios pump out as much bilge (in the form of a Vince Vaughn film) into their cinemas in a weak and desperate attempt to get some quick and easy money, because what could be better than taking your kids to the cinema, right?

Another example is all these toys floating around in the market for kids. Instead of people just celebrating Christmas with their kids, it seems they have to win them over with consumerist crap from the Star Wars franchise (don’t get me started on that shitty CGI film that Mr. deadbeat loser George Lucas did recently).

Anyway, I once again am running out of ideas for this post, but I think you get my point. It just kinda bugs me that it’s become more of a corporate than a real holiday.

On “new” Facebook

Posted in rant, Uncategorized with tags , , on 5 December, 2008 by J-Man

People should stop complaining about facebook. They should stop making groups about it, and they should definitely stop scheduling events about it.

I’m talking about ‘new’ facebook, which is the latest version of the ever-popular social networking site. I never saw the old version, but someone told me about it. It was just a reformat of each person’s profile page. There are dozens of groups whining at facebook to bring it back, and this essay is dedicated to telling them to STFU.

Millions of people use facebook. For free. And that’s the key thing, you’re not paying. If you paid for it, or were a share-holder, you would have every right to complain, as you’re paying their wages, but the thing is, it’s free. Facebook provides its features to you, the user. It is a privilege, not a right to use facebook. It is a commercial internet group that runs it, not you.

You are abusing that privilege by complaining. Say you go to a resteraunt, and you order a meal, and the waiter says its “on the house.” You dislike the meal, leave some constructive criticism, and say you hope it’ll be better next time.

You do not bitch and moan, form an anti-resteraunt group, recruit thousands of people and boycott it. Why people don’t understand this, I have no idea.

If you want your precious profile page in the format you want it, go join myspace, for fucks sake. Don’t ruin everybody elses fun.

Suggestion to facebook: delete all the profiles of those who have joined the “old facebook” groups.

And if you are one of these people, and a thought comes to your mind, that thought being “freedom of speech”, I have a little shock for you.

Freedom of Speech doesn’t exist. Yeah, I said it. Don’t believe me? Walk into a school and call a teacher a bitch. Go on a plane and yell “hijack”, go up to a black police officer and call him racially inferior. Then get back to me on your “freedom” of speech. Note: I’m not trying to get too political, as that would be aside from the point. I’m also not a libertarian, by the way. I don’t believe in the above examples being allowed, so don’t send my hate mail.

The thing is, facebook is a privately owned and run website. It’s not like wikipedia, where everyone contributes. You do not contribute to facebook. You do not own facebook. You do not pay for facebook.

And you certainly don’t benefit facebook by forming stupid, pointless groups. Here’s an idea: stop using it. Yeah, you heard me. If you dislike it so much, why are you still on it? If you still want to socialise, use skype or MSN, or something like that. In fact, what about the phone? Whatever happened to that little peice of technology?

Thanks for reading, if you disagree leave a comment (with grammar, or I’ll delete it cos I own this blog so I have control your freedom of speech), and if you actually did stop using it in protest, please note this hate essay isn’t aimed at you.

A short post

Posted in Gaming, rant with tags , , , on 18 November, 2008 by J-Man

A short post I wrote for Viewx:

So, to start off my career as a contributor to ViewX, let me do a short review of Rage Against the Machine, and one of it’s typical songs.

Beginning: QUITITNOW!!!

Midddle: bow-chick-a-wow-wow


Moving swiftly on from that tangent (I’m a master of those)….


Seriously, it tries to be novel and replace button-mashing with stick waggling, making everyone look like Boris Johnson flailing his arms around like a wacky-wavy-inflatable-arm-flailing-tube-man. It has awful, awful, awful graphics, and even worse games. Seriously, have you people ever played Red Steel? And have the devs ever heard of aiming?

Let’s face it, wii sucks.

End of. Watch this video if you don’t believe me, and bask in Yahtzee’s hate of consoles.